No jokes allowed
"So Muqtada al-Sadr goes to Japan…" the barber tells his customer who was already smiling, bracing himself in the chair for a laugh. The barber tells the best jokes in Baghdad.
"So Muqtada is in Tokyo and meeting with officials and all of the top Japanese people and it’s a very big deal," the barber continues, as the customer’s hair falls on the floor in tufts.
"So Muqtada asks for a meeting, you know with who? No, you don’t know," he says. "It wasn’t with Japanese arms merchants or the army, but with the Toyota company. Do you know why?
"No," says the customer, ready for the big punch line.
"Because he wanted them to make the trunks of their cars bigger."
Like a good comedian, the barber laughs, enticing the customer to laugh even harder.
Toyotas are very common in Baghdad, and especially popular with Muqtada al-Sadr’s Mahdi Army. They often stuff bodies in the trunks.
No laughing matter
But another customer in the barbershop didn’t laugh. He was quietly having a haircut in another chair. He was one of those Mahdi Army men who kills people and stuffs them in the trunks of Toyotas.
The next day he went to visit the barbers and his customers to discuss their "inappropriate humor."
The conversations went like this:
The Mahdi army fighter tied the barber up, took a knife and plucked out both of his eyes. He was only left alive because he was Shiite, like the Mahdi Army.
The customer who laughed at the joke, a Sunni, was killed and stuffed in the trunk of a car, although the friend of the barber who told me the story this morning didn’t know if the car was a Toyota.
[In response to the first comment below, Richard added this:
"Yes…you are right, it does very much sound like an 'urban legend.' The source, however, is a long trusted friend of mine who is a personal friend of the barber. My friend didn’t just hear about the incident, but has visited the barber in his home after he was attacked and seen his condition. The barber, who lives with his parents, hardly ever goes outside anymore.
"And 'were things better under Saddam?' When asked this question this week, two Iraqis told me, 'Before there were massacres but they were secret, now they take place openly.'"]
EMAIL THIS
advertisement
Slide Show
- Life beyond the violence
Suicide attacks and murders due to sectarian conflict continue around Iraq. See how residents live their lives amid the attacks.




Baghdad Bob writes back
Be careful out there, or they may put your eye out! These people are the joke. Wake up people. The only thing these idiots understand is death. It is what they want. It is what they live for - to die and take someone with them. That is the sad joke here!
Rick, Ann Arbor, MI (Sent Oct 12, 2006 11:48:30 AM)
All Muslims seem to be unable to have a reasonable conversation about their feelings of the West, freedom of speech, freedom of religion. They can kill and burn but are unable to discuss the problem; they cannot participate in a dialog but rather they riot. The Sunnis and Shias cannot meet peaceably between themselves. These are not the acts of reasonable people. The killing and burning will continue until people are tired of it. Only then wil it stop.
Jim W. (Sent Oct 12, 2006 11:50:25 AM)
So you're telling us the Mahdi army doesnt have a sense of humor?
Timmay (Sent Oct 12, 2006 11:55:34 AM)
Richard,
You are doing a great job of reporting in an impossible place. I know it must be difficult to get to know everyday Iraqis and see the horrific violence that is visited upon them. We have unleased a Pandora's box that will result in the destruction of a country and its rebirth into a truly Fundamentalist state, which will pose even greater danger to all of us. Stay safe Richard and thanks for your reporting -- you do us all a great service.
"Fundamentalism, in any religion, is the greatest threat to the world today."
Lynn, Olympia, WA (Sent Oct 12, 2006 11:58:00 AM)
This voilence is clearly sunni's killing Shia's and Shia's killing Sunni's.There are no terrorists, no Al Qaida in Iraq, these are radical extremists who are blinded by their faith and spiritual leaders who are behind and encouraging all this. You think they care? No Sir, not as long as they aren't the ones blowing themselves up. They preach politics at Friday Prayers instead of good religious practice . Do you hear any Church Ministers preach politics at Sunday Mass? If these spiritual leaders say stop, this voilence will stop before you can say Sadam Hussain. We should not have been there in the first place. We were first told they had WMD, when none were found we are now being told we gave the Iraqi people their freedom,Three thousand of our soldiers, and god knows how many from the coalition, had we just let Sadam be.
Bryan, Norwalk , ct (Sent Oct 12, 2006 11:58:13 AM)
Others here have said it and it is so true. Where is the Muslim outrage with these actions? If the Muslim masses are peaceful why don't they stand up for there own. To this day in the Middle East punishment is often carried out in Barbaric fashion often in a public forum! It is ignorant of us to think that with the culture that they embrace that they could propagate a democracy overnight. Talk about a square peg in a round hole.
Mickey Las Vegas Nevada (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:08:26 PM)
This definitely sounds like an urban legend. The addendum is classic: "oh it's definitely true, it happened to the friend of a friend." That's what they always say. In this case, if you query your trusted source further, you will undoubtably find out they didn't visit the barber personally, but a "trusted friend" did. (Assuming, of course, that they'll even admit it). People often remove a friend or two from the chain because they hate to be disbelieved.
Dave Vanderbyl, Vancouver, BC, Canada (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:12:15 PM)
It's things like this that makes me wonder why the hell are we helping them? There going to kill each other off anyways, why lose our soldiers?
Grant (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:13:36 PM)
Good post!
"At least under saddam the people knew what they had to do to avoid being tortured or killed. Now it's a free for all."
Iraq is a failure...so is Bush.
Jason, Dallas TX (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:14:36 PM)
Such a sad, sick world we live in. I understand the hatred that can fester from old wounds. It's something we all deal with at some time in our lives. However, the difference between us and the people of Iraq is that we don't act on those past painful memories. We let them go. Not all of the people of Iraq are violent. Some just want a safe, secure place to live and raise their families. Stop focusing on the differences in religion. Start focusing on being tolerant of people as individuals. Teach the people of Iraq to let go of their anger and start living life as free individuals. Then and only then can there be peace. Thanks Richard for enlightening us. Stay safe.
Nancy - Fort Worth (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:18:34 PM)
Please don't compare these the Muslim Terrorists to animals. As far as bringing democracy to the middle east its just not possible. Any Muslims with moderate views have been killed, are in hiding, or living in the west. I think the only reason We have any dealings with the middle east is their oil supply. Eliminate our need for depending on their oil and we could contain the Muslim terrorists much as the West contained the Warsaw pact for fify years until it fell from within.
clay culbertson (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:20:20 PM)
Love one another, love your enemy, love your neighbor. -JC
indra, San Francisco, CA (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:23:18 PM)
I still marvel at the ignorance of those who call out the Muslim world for not condemning these atrocities. Remember when Muslim leaders condemned the London bombings? The complaint then was that they weren't loud enough, or using the right words.
I'd like to know when the last time those who are waiting for the Muslim outcry wrote an op-ed, had a conversation, or even though to themselves that the KKK is a horrible organization and needs to be publicly decried? Muslims aren't the only ones with violent skeletons to be despised.
Scott, Buffalo, NY (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:26:12 PM)
Blaming all religion for this violence is like blaming lung cancer on breathing. Religion is not a divider of people – it is the common denominator among human societies that transcends time in its persistence. If science and religion are diametrically opposed, then why have so many modern physicists become spiritual believers? It is because instead of providing answers, science has only discovered more questions at an exponential rate. True faith and love for God/Allah (same guy, you know!) is the only thing that will eventually end this senseless. Good will always prevail over evil and the meek shall inherit the Earth.
Van, Boston, MA (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:33:56 PM)
Another reason for us to praise Him that we live in a free country. There are murders and attacks every day in the US, as well, but we at least have the freedom to praise Our Living Savior wherever we wish to. I lift you and our men and women serving there daily. God Bless You!
Linda; Indianapolis, IN (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:35:32 PM)
when will our government take off the covers and flush these good for nothing animals down the toilet like the crap that they are, there is nothing good about people that allow these things to go on,so lets just flush them away, i mean think about it, what do they offer this world, nothing
mike, newport beach ca (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:36:26 PM)
I remember a line from a West Wing episode: Josh is telling a bunch of outstanding high school students "want to make them (terrorists) crazy? Hold more than one opinion". Our jokes, our tolerance, our compassion, (big stick in other hand, just in case) speaks volumes that political PR can't touch.
Twodogs, MT
John Linstrom, Bozeman, MT (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:36:33 PM)
As sad as this would be I still call BS on this story.
At the very least the story was exaggerated in order to tell the joke making it less believable. Especially at the end when you made it sound like you asked if the car was a Toyota.
Take this sentance for instance:
"The next day he went to visit the barbers and his customers to discuss their "inappropriate humor.""
Why would the same sunni customer be there the next day. I can understand the barber. Why would the barber be telling a joke after the last few news stories Ive read about barbers being killed for giving out wrong haircuts and especially a sunni going to a shite barber.
I understand the pain and suffering in Iraq and I have 3 friends who have or are on tour but I also dont believe everything I read or hear from friends of friends who know someone as credible news stories.
Seattle, WA (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:38:59 PM)
Good seems to be fearful in the beginning till one see it sacrificing, but recall when it comes to clean up evil. It does not work lawlessly but always works lawfully. Evil works in chaos. Just wait and see there is going to be someone who will stand against the evil. America certainly has good intentions for the people of Iraq for their freedom, but question is what is more important at the present time Independance or Security. Here in America the government is pushing security to seek more and more control. What is bush selling to Iraqi people
P K, Dallas Texas (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:42:07 PM)
If this story is true where is the picture of the barber and his shop and why wasn't CNN playing it ad nauseum 24/7 like they do every time they strap on the AP Wire Feed Bag???? Sensational story tho...
Jimmy Crackhorn (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:45:36 PM)
"The barber", "the customer", "the Mahdi army man"? Is this journalism? What are their names? What was the date? Why didnt you interview anyone? This is an anecdote and shouldnt be confused with a real story. The fact that you knew the particular grape doesnt validate the grapevine.
That being said, something similar or exactly like this could have happened. But it isnt noteworthy. As others have said, you can get killed just as easily anywhere in the US. We come up with coping mechanisms like "wrong place, wrong time" but the truth is hundreds die in this country every day for ridiculous reasons. Check the crime logs and see how many are killed over "the TV remote" or "music too loud".
Dont blame Islam for the ease with which humans kill. This story, true or not, had nothing to do with religion. It was about people suffering at the hands of other people. You think thats unique to Islam? Think again.
Step, Washington, DC (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:49:20 PM)
As I read your story I hear on the news that the Army wants to maintain current troop levels thru 2010. Just to think some of us were concerned that Iraq would become my generations Vietnam. What a joke! By the time we get completely out of Iraq it will probably be worse than Vietnam. It seems to me that President Bush should ride around the streets of Iraq in an unarmored Humvee with a Bullhorn spreading his message of peace. I wonder where that would get us? We all need to pray for and support the troops over there!!
Chris, Hampton Roads, VA (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:50:37 PM)
Oh I see, so you got this story from a "friend" who knew the barber...well, that cinches it! No one doubts that all manner of ghastly things occur in Iraq, we have enough physical evidence to prove it. What irritates me is the sophomoric one-upsmanship that seems prevelent among the news gathering community. Has anyone there ever heard the expression "Sounds to good be true"? Well if it sounds like an urban legend it probably is. Through the years, some of my best friends have related with utmost sincerity, the most ridiculous stories. How "long time" is this friend? Many of these native sources will tell you anything to gain respect, reward, prestige among their peers...whatever. Find the barber, talk to the family then recount the tale, otherwise file it under BS.
Mike Dusold, St. Louis, MO. (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:50:47 PM)
Ahhh, so, are they going to make the trunks bigger?
Tyler (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:50:47 PM)
It's sad how everyone is referring to them as "animals" and how "horrible it is over there". Where do you people live? Do you really think that you can make a joke about a Blood or Crip in South Central LA and not get killed? Or make a loud enough crack about the Latin Kings in south Texas? Or be a black man with a white woman after dark in certain parts of the south? Just a few years ago there was a kid who squirted someone with a watergun and was gunned down in the street. When it happens here we get desensitized to it.. but over there we see it as all part of the "war on terror". Terror is everywhere, and not just because of a war or religious differences.
Sean, United States (Sent Oct 12, 2006 12:52:26 PM)
SEND A COMMENT
PLEASE READ: All comments must be approved before appearing in the thread; time and space constraints prevent all comments from appearing. We will only approve comments that are directly related to this post, use appropriate language and are not attacking the comments of others.