When home is very far away

Like any other news organization in Baghdad, NBC News colleagues spend a lot of time together in cramped spaces. Between stories there's time to chat and try to forget, for a moment, where we are, or that the temperature just broke 120 degrees. Some of us like to tell jokes; others, old war stories. Some of the more talented go on about the latest recipes they want to experiment with in the NBC kitchen; still others complain about someone's messy habits, and why doesn't he put away his cereal box or wash his plates? Sound like home? It isn't. Home, for most of us, is a very far away place, a long distance bridged by a (if we're lucky) daily, often strained, phone call that has to compete with bad static or breaking news.

Maybe that's why it's taken so long to break an unspoken taboo here: talking about home. That is, our spouses, partners, girl- or boyfriends, waiting back home. And all the mounting tension: putting up with the long separations, coping with the risks and uncertanties (all those unanswered text messages), managing their own lives AND our households, reassuring our children everything will be fine, when-- as the Douglases and Brolans and Doziers sadly learned this past week -- it may not.

The moment of truth, as is often the case, was almost comic: a group of us were seated around the large wooden desk in our makeshift newsroom, focused either on a TV monitor or a computer screen. I just blurted it out. "Is it me or is anyone else going through 'phone home hell' right now?" I had breached the Three Gorges Dam. A wave of "yesses!" sounded around the table:

"You too? God, I thought I was the only one!"

Or--
"I'm listening to my husband describe his day and I'm thinking, what planet is this?"

Or--
"That's right! She loves to remind me of all the tasks I started but couldn't finish. I'm thinking about car bombs outside and she's on about filling out our son's school registration forms!"

Or--
"Yeah, when I finally get a 'down day' I can't even find her. But when I'm about to go on 'live'... she calls!"

And on and on. It was kind of cathartic. We all laughed and felt better -- and closer -- for it. But, in fact, the state of long-term relationships in this business is anything but funny. At any given time, it seems, a colleague is either breaking up, divorcing, or remarrying... and not for the first time. The pressures, the distance and the comittment this kind of assignment demands are often too much for "normal," senstive, loving partners to accept.

Those who DO accept it -- often against their own better judgement and deepest instincts -- are very special people. Cindy -- my wife of almost 20 years--carried a condolence card into our London office today for Paul Douglas' family. There, she ran into one of my New York bosses, on his way to Iran. "Thank you for sharing him," he told her.

Thanks to all of you, back home, who share us. There are so many questions here we can't answer. But we all know we need you.

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14 COMMENTS

Thanks for doing what you do. Some of us have a need to know what's going on so we rely on you to keep us informed. The news is seldom good, But it's important. You all do an outstanding job, conditions being what they are. Stay safe and Thank you.
Anna Boyle Daniher

Anna Boyle Daniher - Hackettstown, NJ (Sent Jun 5, 2006 8:23:26 PM)

Being the spouse of a soldier is not so different than being a spouse of a correspondent, also called off to a far away land. As I go through my daily life here in the good ol' USA, it does not take much to put me back in the moment, of not knowing, and when we do get a chance to talk, it is about anything BUT what is going on over "there". It is about the list of Honey-do's, and the kid's school registration, because even though I watch the nightly news and hear the daily scoop, when I talk to him, I want it to be about us. Although my husband retired after 21 years, I know the sacrifices that are being made daily by not only the men and women of the armed forces or by the people who bring us the news of the day, but also by those that share them all with us!

Teri Walker, Grand Rivers, KY (Sent Jun 5, 2006 9:24:11 PM)

I know it's too dangerous there in Baghdad for you to go out and do any real reporting, but this piece is utterly worthless space-filler.

Rollin O. (Sent Jun 5, 2006 9:41:32 PM)

To all of you connected with the news Media in Baghdad and the rest of Iraq, this is one American who deeply appreciates your commitment and courage. We need to constantly be told what you see, hear and feel. You are the free voice that is such a vital part of our society. So, like the mastercard commercials:
Computer $1000
Printer $150
Reading a media blog from Iraq - Priceless!

Thanks from the states, and get home safe.

Ken Loescher, Windsor, CT (Sent Jun 5, 2006 10:25:59 PM)

There are tens of thousands of us here who can relate...some contractor employees have been over here going on 3 years through hundreds of mortor/rocket attacks and countless convoys. little sympathy from these folks for your problems of a few weeks or (heaven forbid) months over here!

Davy Lee (Sent Jun 5, 2006 10:31:24 PM)

I do appreciate you people being there it keeps the government being uncomfortably honest. I can not imagine what you go through day to day.

Debbie McDowell, Tangent, OR (Sent Jun 5, 2006 11:57:52 PM)

I can't imagine what it's like to be away from your loved ones for so long; I admire their strength and support--they are truly special people.
But I did have one question, particularly for you Jim: how are you able to explain and/or justify to your children the work you do and the long time required away from them? It's something that no journalism class can ever answer when one elects to pursue a career as a foreign correspondent.
If I ever get my chance, my family's support is certainly there but not without great consternation especially if it involves covering a war or armed conflict, and unlike you, I'm not married and have no children (which does simplify matters tremendously) in comparison.
Thanks for sharing this post as it should remind us of all the media members' sacrifices too. To you and your colleagues, I continue to pray for your safety and welfare. Take care and God speed.

Wendy, TN (Sent Jun 6, 2006 12:32:44 AM)

It is not incomprehensible to imagine what you people are going through, but the reality of it is that you are in an unsafe, dangerous, place, reporting on news that frankly most of us in the US have become calloused to: 25 more deaths, misery, and incompetence. The situation from my perspective looks rather hopeless: sectarianism, religious sects, militias, and who knows what else is bifurcating the politics of Iraq and its people, and the killing, maining, and destruction proceeds unabated. Good luck to you and your colleages and our troops and the Iraqi people - you will all need it in copious amounts. Sincerely, Steve Kridelbaugh

Stephen Kridelbaugh (Sent Jun 6, 2006 12:35:25 AM)

My special thanks go out to Jim Maceda, Richard Engel and all of the NBC people on the ground in Iraq who continue to be the ONLY news organization who bring viewers the real truth about the war in Iraq. When I want to know what is going on in Iraq, I tune to NBC/MSNBC news as my TV source of record for untarnished reporting on the war in Iraq.

Bill Corcoran, Chicago, Ill. (Sent Jun 6, 2006 3:23:08 AM)

Because Iraq seems so far away it's easy to forget the difficulties that brave journalists face every day. I just finished reading "Naked in Bagdad" and that book helped to bring home the dangers journalists face daily just to report the news.
Their job is essential to our understanding of this war, and I for one am grateful for their willingness to face danger daily to keep us informed.
Hang in there guys and gals, we're praying for you, and thanks.

Michelle O'Neill, Orlando FL (Sent Jun 6, 2006 5:33:38 AM)

Been there, done it, and came home with lots of t-shirts for the kids. What you've described is an inherent part of the life you've chosen. Mine included wearing the uniform of our country and all the problems that went with that. After three six month deployments to that armpit of a region, I finally retired from the military and you know what? I miss the excitement. Hang tough and keep your butt down.

Mark Bucher, MSgt, USAF (ret) (Sent Jun 6, 2006 7:30:50 AM)

Long way from Tel Aviv, isn't it Jim?
Keep up the GREAT work, and keep your head down!

Art Kent

Art Kent, Houston, Texas (Sent Jun 6, 2006 5:51:18 PM)

Thanks for keeping us informed from Baghdad. I look forward to hearing you and the rest of the news team on Imus as well. Give him hell! And ignore the naysayers above. Everyone has an opinion.

Alan Hanscom (Sent Jun 7, 2006 12:48:33 AM)

if the news had done their job to start with we as a country or news journalist would be their now. 3 years ago the news people didnot do their job to get the truth

james hicks (Sent Jun 8, 2006 9:31:33 PM)

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